BIGGER
ON
THE
INSIDE
By Ben Wilkins
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Note to readers: This is a web-story with animations, so it works best if you scroll slowly.
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This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance herein to Wizards, Trolls, or other STRANGE CREATURES, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
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No Trolls were ensorcelled or otherwise harmed during the making of this web-story.
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This is Owenathawp.
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Owenathawp is a troll.
Wait, no, these are just his feet. LOOK UP!
THIS is Owenathawp.
Yer a big fella, aintcha?
Owenathawp is a BRIDGE TROLL. He collects tolls for the Troll King.
He's a toll troll, you might say.
And he is VERY good at his job.
It doesn't hurt that he's the biggest troll for miles around - so big that he's never been afraid of anything.
Everyone's got to pay the toll. King's orders.
(Though he does have a recurring nightmare about
THREE GRUFF BILLY GOATS)
One day, a wizard came to Owenathawp's bridge.
"Oh great. A wizard," thought Owenathawp. "Wizards are nothing but trouble.
"And they NEVER want to pay the toll."
Like all wizards, this one was clearly in a hurry.
Of course, oh wise one -
- Owenathawp said, politely -
- just as soon as you pay the toll.
"Never heard of you," Owenathawp said.
Owenathawp.
Ah yes. The exemptions list. What did you say your name was again?
Hmm. Any silent letters?
Sorry. Not on the list. You have to pay the toll.
Then you'll have to get thumped. It's nothing personal, but rules is rules.
As the wizard shot her spell, it occurred to Owenathawp that he had been minding his manners. If anyone had been rude, it was the wizard.
But then, wizards were known to have their own set of manners: the kind that applied to other people and not to themselves.
When he realized the wizard had shrunk him, Owenathawp hid under the bridge, letting her pass.
For the first time in his life, he was afraid.
He had never been so small before. Even when he was a baby, he had been the biggest baby the Troll-Mothers had ever seen.
Now everything seemed bigger than Owenathawp.
Several "visitors" came to the bridge
-- tolls for the troll king --
but Owenathawp couldn't bring himself to challenge them. He was too afraid.
So he hid beneath the bridge.
Just when the diminutive Owenathawp thought that things really couldn't get any worse, he heard the only sound that had ever scared him, back when he was big.
CLIP CLOP!
CLIP CLOP!
CLIP CLOP!
CLIP CLOP!
It was the sound of a Billy Goat (Gruff) -- the MORTAL ENEMY of all Bridge Trolls!
This particular goat was hardly the GRUFF of LEGEND, but to the now-tiny Owenathawp, he seemed enormous.
Really, guys, I'm a ram. R-A-M. RAM.
Boo hoo hoo!
And so the troll, who was really still quite a young troll, started to cry.
Owenathawp tried to disappear, but it was no good. The Billy Go--er, Billy RAM had seen him.
"I -- I'm scared," the young troll replied. "And I've never been scared before. Not really."
Everything bigger
than me.
What are you, a gnome?
I'm a Toll Troll.
No offense, but I didn't know they made trolls that small.
I was cursed by a wizard.
Ah, that explains it. Wizards, who needs 'em, am I right?
"Well," the ram said," the way I see it, you've got two choices.
"You can either give up being a troll and be afraid of everything for the rest of your life..."
Or you'll need to get bigger on the inside.
With that, the Billy RAM left the bridge, having paid his toll in the form of some gruff wisdom.
clip clop
clip clop
Bigger on the inside?
He was thinking about what the Ram had said when he heard the footsteps of someone approaching -- yet another toll for the Troll King.
I say! Who goes there?
Ah. Halloo down there. Now MOVE.
No. You have to pay the toll.
For a moment, the FEAR came back to Owenathawp -- he was so TINY compared to this armored knight and his snorting charger -- and all he wanted to do was to run away.
Owenathawp thought of the joy he had in toll collection, the dishonor he felt at letting tolls go unpaid, and of what the Wise Billy Ram had told him. No. He was a TOLL TROLL.
And he had a job to do.
I'm not an ugly gnome! I'm a TOLL TROLL!
You're awfully small to be a troll, aren't you?
I'm Bigger on the INSIDE!
From then on, everyone who came to Owenathawp's bridge paid the toll.
I am here to pay toll. I want no troubles.
Just drop it in the box, big guy.
Though many went far out of their way to avoid the bridge, because word spread that the biggest troll in all the kingdoms guarded it.
And so he did...
...At least, on the inside.
One day, years later, the wizard who had caused all this trouble returned to Owenathawp's bridge.
She was not in a hurry for once, and was in a much better mood.
Hello, wise one. Back from your adventure?
Owenathawp thought he should probably be mad at the wizard, but he shrugged to himself when he couldn't seem to find any anger for her.
Look - I, er, owe you an apology. I was having a really bad day and I probably, um, shouldn't have made you tiny?
It is well-known that wizards are not very good at apologizing, since they get very little practice.
Owenathawp was tempted, but...
Besides, he reasoned, one could never trust wizard magic. He had learned to accept being smaller - he did not want to learn to accept being accidentally turned into a toad. But he did not say so to the wizard. It seemed impolite.
"Not so fast," Owenathawp said.
Thanks for reading! Remember that you too are BIGGER ON THE INSIDE!